I had just gotten back home from spending the day at Children's Home for church. I had a few mintues till I had to be on-the-go again so I decided to write in the journal one of my bestfriends, Ana Echezabal, gave me. So I hope you're happy Ana! I'm finally writing in it (little by little). As I look back and read old journal entries, I think about the past and my present and how His Word has brought me comfort and joy. He gives me hope. He is my hope. Even when I'm down, He lifts me up. So I thought it would bring some encouragement and comfort to share a journal entry with you all.
So here is the journal entry I wrote yesterday:
"He is so good! Sunday, September 16th, 2012.
I'm pretty sure you've read my latest blogpost on this matter ^ [I had written about the possibility of bring a child home with me in the entry above]. I've tried to catch up on some writing but I can't seem to find much time. It's Sunday and I'm laying in bed waiting to leave home and head to town (Eldoret, Kenya) for dinner. It's 5:30pm (which means it's only 10:30am in Miami). I taught Sunday School this morning...the Lord really is my strength! I had over 75 young kids. I would say just about 20 of them were babies, which indicates alot of crying, peeing and pooping going on. Loud cries coming from all corners of the room where I try and teach them about Jesus and God's love and what His Word says. Today was a very frustrating Sunday morning for me. I could barely hear myself, I ran out of candy (or as the Kenyans say, "sweets"..."give me sweet!") for my kids, I could only share my lesson with about 20 kids. It was crazy. But He is good. I got to see/be with my girls and love on them. I got to eat rice and beans for lunch, which is always a treat. I got to spend a few minutes in His Word [after lunch I hid away in the girls' room to be still]. I'm refreshed by His love and grace. I read Psalm 27 and 28. Listen to this:
"The LORD is the stronghold of my life..."-Psalm 27:1
"One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the Beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple." -Psalm 27:4."
It was time for me to leave Kaptagat, so I had to stop there.
But wow! That verse caught my attention. To gaze upon the beauty of the LORD! Oh the thought of it all. To be in the presence of the Almighty God and be enthralled by His beauty. To be in awe, to be mesmerized by Him and all that He is. His glory and beauty.
This is what He has been reminding me:
My sweet Jesus is faithful. His promises stand true.
"For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble;
He will conceal me under the cover of His tent;
He will lift me high upon a rock [Jesus is my Rock. He is the rock that is soooo much higher than I!]." -Psalm 27:5
He reminds me thats it's the condition of my heart that matters and that He is my Help. He reminds me that even if my father and mother, my family or friends foresake me, if the whole world turns against me, He takes me in.
"Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, "Seek My face."My heart says to You,
"Your face, Lord, do I seek."
Hide not Your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O You who have been my Help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in."-Psalm 27:7-10
This Monday afternoon, I sit on my bed while listening to Hillsong and typying this up. The song Open My Eyes from Hillsong's A Beautiful Exchange starts playing on my ipod.
The lyrics,
"I know Your love is all that I need
And I seek to know the ways of Your heart.
So open my eyes oh God
Open my heart to see
All the wonders and the power of Your name
By Your grace I'll live
By Your grace I'll see
For my life and my salvation is in You,"
remind me to cling to Him. To His grace and love. To seek Him first.
"Teach me Your way, O Lord..."-Psalm 27:11a.
Sometimes life can be overwhelming and frustrating. At times it's hard for me to be Christ-like when people stare, laugh and rip me off because I'm white here. It's hard because I want to be like Jesus Christ but sometimes my flesh gets in the way, and when that happens....I long to be in my flesh no longer. I want to be in heaven with Him and not have to deal with my flesh. I wish He would come back already. But He reminds me to wait for Him. To be strong and take heart.
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
This one is my favorite:
He hears and answers me. He is my Strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him, He comes to my aid. My heart and life exults Him. My life song give thanks to Him for all that He is, all that He had done, and all that He does.
"Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." -Psalm 28:6-7.
The hymn As the Deer comes to mind. I encourage you to read the lyrics and sing it out loud to our Lord and Savior.
"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after You
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You're my friend and You are my brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy-giver
And the apple of my eye.
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You."
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