Mungu is Able. My God is More than Able.

This past friday, on the car ride back here to Kaptagat (home) from Kipkelion, Kenya, I had a thought/idea/prayer. The thought of being able to take one of my girls back to the States with me. I have just about $600 saved up, and I thought that should be a little less than a one-way ticket for a child. The child would just be "visiting" me and my family for a year. She would live with me and I would be her care taker for the time while being in America. I would need the child's parental approval and have the parent sign a paper saying that the child is allowed to travel with me. The child and I will return to Kenya together next year. This means...I would have to come back next year.

Saturday night I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning in bed. I listened to a whole hour sermon by Louie Giglio. I couldn't stop thinking. Around midnight I called my mom and asked her if she could do me a favor. I asked her if she could please look up/find out how much a flight ticket for a child younger than 5 years old would be. The flight would be on the same date I return. It would have to be on the same flight I'm in.

Sunday morning I wake up (with only a few hours of sleep) and I get ready to teach Sunday School. I put on my African dress on, I braid my what-used-to-be-bands back and clip them to the side, I make sure I have all the things I need for the craft after my lesson. I get to the Children's Home and I start leading the kids in a few swahili and english worship songs, I pray and I begin to teach on Psalm 23. I emphasize on how the LORD is our Shepherd and we are the sheep. God is the Good Shepherd. He cares for His sheep, in every way. He is our provider, He gives us rest, He restores our soul, He leads us in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake, He is with us, He comforts us, He repares tables before us in the presence of our enemies, He takes care of us (physically: He anoints our heads with oil), His goodness and His mercy follows us for all our lives, He promises that we will dwell in His house forever! We shall be with Jesus forever! This Good Shepherd is our God!

After church and after eating lunch with my kids from the Children's Home, I walk over to my girls' house. Her mom is there. Their mother's name is Vivian. I've met her before. She knows me and I know her. I don't know know her. but this is what I do know:  Vivan is 24 years old. She had Sharon (her first born) when she was 15 years old. She doesn't have a husband and she is the main provider for her and her 4 daughters. I haven't had the opportunity to truly find out if she is a Christian or not. A true Christian that is. I would like to take one of my kids from the Children's Home and have her/him translate for me as I talk about Jesus with Vivian. (Vivian and her daughters speak Kalejin, for the most part). Vivian and I communicate in english, the few english that she knows. I talk to her in swahili at times...but that conversation can only go for so long. Anywho...I arrive at their home and I notice that Phillis is crying. Vivian greets me and leads me to a bench to sit next to her. I ask Phillis if shes okay and I take her with me to the bench. Phillis is sitting between Vivian and I and I'm carrying Abigail on my lap. All the rest of the kids (Sharon, Silvia, Chella,Bryan and his brothers and sisters) are playing on the grass in front of us. Vivan's niece, Nancy, gives me a orange Fanta and some cookies to drink and eat. Kenyan people are so welcoming and giving. They have nothing. The little that they have...they share and give. I don't recall much of what we talked about...but all I could remember is a comment Vivian made. She said, "You take this child with you to America. You take Phillis with you." I replied, "In a heart beat. I would love to take Phillis with me! I would love to take all these kids with me. But I can't do that! They would miss their family too much. Phillis would miss her mama too much." Phillis is 6 years old. She is Vivian's second oldest child. I knew Phillis must have done something to upset her mom. That would explain why she was crying when I got there and why Vivian made such a comment. It's hard for me to imagine Phillis misbehaving...but then again, I only see her a few times a week. But when I do see her...she is the sweetest little girl. She hugs me and gives me kisses.We play, we laugh. She tells me she loves me in her dialect (achamin Nati!). I tell her I love her in the 3 different languages (English, Swahili and Kalejin)that she would be able to understand...somewhat. I love being with all my 5 girls. I've grown very fond of them. But man, oh man, do my little 3-year-olds Abigail and Chella have a hold of my heart (after Jesus, of course). They are known as my daughters and I am known to be their mama.

Sunday afternoon, I'm back home and I take a quick shower. I call my mom and I told her why I called her the day before and asked for that favor. She told me that the lowest price for a one-way ticket for a child was $2,300! So there I was...sitting on the porch...talking on the phone with my mom...and thinking to myself: ok...I can't afford it. I can't take one of my girls back home to America with me. It's too much money. I'm crazy for even thinking about it. Okay LORD, it's a no. I left it at that.

Today (Monday) I went to town with Kellie, Belle and Danielle (whose birthday is today...we went into town for her birthday/girls' day out). After walking all over Eldoret, we ate lunch at Nova Cafe (one of my favorite places in town). After lunch we walked around town some more  and then we finally settled down at Baker's Point cafe (my other favorite place in town). I got to get connected to some decent wifi and check some messages and post some pictures. I skyped with my mom and she asked about the little girl I wanted to bring home. She asked me questions and told me not to worry about the money for the flight ticket...but to first worry about seeing if its possible to bring her to the States. To talk to Michael (the missionary) and see what he says and to see what he knows. She said that if the mother (parent) is willing to let the child go with me and sign a paper stating it, it might be possible to take her with me for a year. We are both doing some research and praying about it.

On the matatoo ride back home from Eldoret...I couldn't help but think. To overthink. To worry. To rejoice. To be broken-heart. To fear. To worry some more. You see...I don’t want to even think about saying goodbye to all my kids and people here in Kenya. To all the friendships that the Lord has blessed me with. And my heart breaks just of the thought of leaving and saying goodbye. My eyes get watery and everything! It’s terrible. Thoughts like: I can’t afford it. If I take Abigail or Chella to the States with me that means they would be separated from their siblings. I have to get her a passport and get the consent letter from the parent. I have to buy a bunch of diapers so she won’t pee on me. Would I even be a good mommy? If I get to bring Abigail or Chella home with me and be their mommy...that means I have to be an adult. I have to receive the responsibility that motherhood gives. I wouldn’t be her legal parent, I can’t adopt her. I’m 18 years old. The thoughts of me having the responsibility of motherhood scares me a bit. Not knowing if Abigail or Chella would like to the life-style in America. The language barrier and how I need to learn more Kalejin and teach her more english. Having a child depend on me every minute of my day. Would she want me to be her mommy? Will this even work out? If so...how? When I get home...I can’t be like another other teenager. I can’t go and have dates with friends and hang out till late. I can’t drive around Miami and go from place to place figuring out what I want to do. I would like to get a job and work when I get back. I need to save up in order to come back to Kenya next year, if He wills me to come back, and I would have to save up for another flight ticket as well for Abigail or Chella. I plan on going to VA and visiting my bestfriend Ashley at UVA in November. I would love to go to Passion 2013 in GA in January. I had plans. 

 

But then He reminds me of His love and strength and power once again. I want to be her mommy and love her like He loves me. All I know is that I love them. They love me. And my God is a living and mighty God. As I sat there on the matatoo (bus) listening to Hillsong, the song God is Able started playing. I was reminded that He is able to do more abundantly than all that I ask or think. He will give me strength to do the work that He has prepared for me...even if being a mommy to a young Kenyan child for a year is part of that work. I would have to come back to Kenya next year (which is an answered prayer in itself) with Abigail or Chella. He is my Good Shephered and He provides. He will make a way...if this is His will. My God is able. My God is more than able to make a way.              

Prayer for Spiritual Strength

^“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” -Eph. 3:14-21.


My friends and family,
Please continue to pray for the people here in Kenya.
Please pray for:
The 17 kids we have at the Children's Home.
The Church
The possibility of Abigail or Chella coming to the States. That He would make it clear what He wants me to do and that I would be obedient and do it. For provision and strength.

 

Abigail and I



Sunday School

If it is a possibility to bring Abigail or Chella to the States with me (and find out if I could get a passport and consent letter)...please let me know if you would like to help out with that.