Be Thou My Vision, Be My Delight.

"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, put first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied

My Jesus, you satisfy
My Jesus, you satisfy

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied."


This song has been playing on repeat.
These past few days have been interesting...I keep having these dreams at night and waking up to reality. To brokenness and to a heavy heart. Things from the past pop up in my present thoughts. "The grey remains of a friendship scarred," as described by The Shins. Questions are asked. Thoughts rush through my head. A physical chest pain creeps back into my life. "My heart hurts, Abba," I find myself crying out with watery eyes. "Why? Why do I still dream about this? How could this be? I don't understand. I feel this chest paing, I guess this is my own "thorn in the flesh," Abba, I'm weak, but I rejoice and give thanks in my weakness, for it is in my weakness where Your power is made perfect," were the questions and statements that I found myself writing down in my green-flowered journal.

I had just finished reading the book of Hebrews yesterday and I decided to lay down on my bed and write. I picked up the Ana-journal and began to write about what exactly had been going on with me (knowing Ana...she would want to know everything and the details...which I couldn't...I wish she was here with me so I could verbally tell her). After filling up a couple of pages with details, of which I won't be sharing with you all...pole [sorry in Swahili], I shared,

"But He reminds me of His goodness, His forgiveness and love. His grace and mercy. His strength and healing. His sovereignty and plans. His restoration in me. His work in me. My sanctification. How our sweet, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8. I had a picture of this in my heard this morning when I felt a chest pain/heartbreak: It's Jesus and me. I feel God shaping me (with sandpaper so it seems). I'm crying in pain and looking to Him. Jesus is there with me. He walks along side me. He holds my hand. He pours love and grace on me. He encourages/ministers to me. "It's okay, my loved one. There is no need to fear/worry, I work all things out for your good. This pain is only temporary. You are eternally Mine. I will never leave you or forsake you. Cling to me. I will give you hope and show you the way to Life. I love you, My daughter. I am the One who died for you and conquered death for you to have Life in/throught Me. Trust Me. This pain is necessary." I run into His arms and embrace Him. He carries me. Although I can't draw a picture of His face, I know His presence. I know Him and He knows me. He carries me in His bosom [read Isaiah 40:11]. He gives me rest. He gives me peace. He gives me hope, which is Himself."

Then this morning I read my mentor's daily devotional (yes, I'm talking about Elisabeth Elliot), she titles the post Why is God Doing This to Me? and she writes,

"I have been compiling a list of the answers God Himself has given us to our persistent question about adversity:

1. We need to be pruned. In Jesus' last discourse with His disciples before He was crucified (a discourse meant for us as well as for them), He explained that God is the gardener, He Himself is the vine, and we are branches. If we are bearing fruit, then we must be pruned. This is a painful process. Jesus knew that His disciples would face much suffering. He showed them, in this beautiful metaphor, that it was not for nothing. Only the well-pruned vine bears the best fruit. They could take comfort in knowing that the pruning proved they were neither barren nor withered, for in that case they would simply be burned up in the brushpile.

Pruning requires the cutting away not only of what is superfluous but also of what appears to be good stock. Why should we be so baffled when the Lord cuts away good things from our lives? He has explained why. "This is my Father's glory, that you may bear fruit in plenty and so be my disciples" (John 15:8, NEB). We need not see how it works. He has told us it does work.

2. We need to be refined. Peter wrote to God's scattered people, reminding them that even though they were "smarting for a little while under trials of many kinds" (they were in exile--the sort of trial most of us would think rather more than "smart"), they were nevertheless chosen in the purpose of God, hallowed to His service, and consecrated with the blood of Jesus Christ. With all that, they still needed refining. Gold is gold, but it has to go through fire. Faith is even more precious, so faith will always have another test to stand. Remember God's loving promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is all you need; power comes to its full strength in weakness" (NEB).

But Thou art making me, I thank Thee, sire.
What Thou hast done and doest Thou knows't well.
And I will help Thee; gently in Thy fire
I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel
I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.
Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell,
And growing strength perfect through weakness dire.
-George MacDonald."

Isn't that beautiful! I love it when things that Elisabeth writes hits home and it goes along with what the Spirit has been teaching me. Then later on today He reminded me of something that I had read yesterday in Hebrews. I encourage you all to stay with me (I know this post is a little long..but let's be serious..my posts are always long, pole) and read this:

"And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by Him.
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and chastises every son whom He receives."

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." -Hebrews 12:5-11.

So here I am, sitting on my bed. It's late and I wish Kenya was in the same time-zone as Miami. I'm typing this up and hoping that through what He has been teaching me you may be ministered to and encouraged. The lyrics of Be Thou My Vision by Ascend the Hill that I wrote in the beginning of this post has a verse that I can't seem to get over and that is:  My Jesus, You Satisfy.
Along with: Oh God, be my everything, be my delight. Be, Jesus, my glory my soul's satisfied.

God Himself has called us to be His sons and daughters, we are adopted as His own through our beautiful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The Creator of the universe not only calls me, but treats/disciplines as His daughter. This pain and heartache I go through, this past friendship that creeps into my present, this thorn in my flesh, is just another opportunity for surrender. This shaping with sandpaper, this pruning and refining, this discipline is necessary. But let us never lose sight of the bigger picture. Like the author of Hebrews writes,

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."(Chapter 12 verse 1-2).

Jesus is the bigger picture. He is our reward. He is our goal. He is our everything. Let us look to Jesus and keep our eyes fixed on Him and Him alone.

Oh my sweet Jesus, be Thou our Vision. Be our Delight.