A post that is past over due.
I lay here on my comfy bed in my humble American home and can't help but to think about my kids (Hilary, Roy, Eliud, Nickson, Ian, Vincent, Benard, Dennis, Victor, Gideon, Christine, Teresa, Eunice, Sharon, Winnie Awino, Winnie, Brenda and my "daughters" Chella, Abigail, Phillis, Sharon) over in Kenya and my little Peter in Haiti. Theres not a day that goes by that the Lord doesn't place them in my mind and have me pray for them. I often think of what they're doing at the moment and if they're doing well. If they're being fed and learning at school. If they're growing physically and spiritually. How I wish I could be with them...even if it were only for a few minutes.
Being back in the States has been hard. This fast paced life isn't what I was excepting. I had adjusted to the Kenyan life style. Being flexible and taking life one day at a time. Living by faith and not knowing what would happen.
But I've finally settled down. The Lord provided a job and I've been working full-time. Staying busy and saving up. Praying and seeing where He takes me next.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
By the Strength that God Supplies.
"It's Beginning to Hit
Today, October the 8th, I began to pack. This is my last full week here in Kenya and it's beginning to hit me. It's crazy to think that at this time next week I will be sleeping in my travel-attire, not looking forward to waking up early the following morning and loading up the truck with my bags and heading to Nairobi. I can already feel the heartbreak I will get from having to say goodbye to the kids. Departing from "home" (Kaptagat) and not being able to see everyone everyday will be the hardest thing. Not being able to hug and tickle Victor and Gideon and all the girls, not being able to annoy the older boys by making them hug me and say hi to me at school in front of their friends, not being able to walk to Abigail, Silvia, Sharon, Phillis, and Chella's home and just to play with and hug/love on them. Not being able to do anything that I've been blessed to do these past 5 months. But He reminds me of His goodness and comfort. I have been so blessed by the time He has given me here and all the friendships that He has blessed me with. I receive it all with thanksgiving and am doing my best not to grieve..because I have Hope.
It's been awesome to see a lot of the kids repent of their sins and have come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. It brings Hope and cheers me up because I know that one day I will be with them in heaven worshiping Jesus. I'm still praying about coming back and seeing them again next year, so if the Lord allows me come back....I will see them face-to-face one more time.
I really don't want to leave Kenya...but I am beyond excited to see my family and friends in Miami once again. I've missed my church, ChristFellowship, and my small group girls. I'm looking forward to eating good food and driving again."
Today is Friday, October the 12, and my life is all packed up in two duffel bags. It's my last weekend here in Kenya and there is so much to do. I've been helping paint the boys' room in the new house and trying not to think about Tuesday. I've been packing and in the process of writing goodbye letters and preparing the gifts I have for the kids. Lord willing, I will be spending tomorrow and Sunday night there at the Children's Home, on Sunday morning I will be visiting a friend's church, and on Monday I plan on going to my class and saying goodbye to all my students. Tuesday morning I'll be on my way to Nairobi and getting on a plane at night.
It's a bittersweet feeling that I have inside me. I am heartbroken that I'm leaving Kenya and that I won't be able to see my kids everyday, but I am sooooo excited about being back in Miami and hugging and jumping on the ones I love. God has been so faithful and gracious. He always reminds me of His goodness and sovereignty, His timing and plans, and how He will never leave us nor foresake us no matter where on earth we are. I know that He is with all my kids here and He will never leave them. He is our care-taker and the God of all comfort. He is my Strength. He is my Joy. He is my Hope.
This will be my last blogpost here in Kenya. So I leave you all with this: Be obedient in the small and the big; He will be faithful in the big and small. Take Him at His Word. For He says what He means, and He means what He says. Give it all for the glory of God. Jesus Christ worthy of it all.
I finished the book of 1 Peter this past week and I loved this:
"The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." -1 Peter 4:7-11
Let us never forget of the Source of it all. God supplies us with the strength to serve Him, He has taught me that while serving Him here in Kenya. He does this in order that in everything He may be glorified through Jesus Christ to Him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. AMEN!
So by the strength that He provides, I have served the time He has given me here in Kenya, by the strength that He supplies, I will continue to serve Him where He leads me. By His grace and strength I will go back to the States on Tuesday night with a heart filled with hope.
I love you all and I thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Thank you for taking time to read my blogposts. It's been so encouraging to hear what He taught you through my posts and how He has used me and my crazy life experiences to encourage you.
Please continue to pray for the kids here. I'll try and post more pictures and give you names and all that jazz when I get back to Miami.
"May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." -2 Corinthians 13:14.
Today, October the 8th, I began to pack. This is my last full week here in Kenya and it's beginning to hit me. It's crazy to think that at this time next week I will be sleeping in my travel-attire, not looking forward to waking up early the following morning and loading up the truck with my bags and heading to Nairobi. I can already feel the heartbreak I will get from having to say goodbye to the kids. Departing from "home" (Kaptagat) and not being able to see everyone everyday will be the hardest thing. Not being able to hug and tickle Victor and Gideon and all the girls, not being able to annoy the older boys by making them hug me and say hi to me at school in front of their friends, not being able to walk to Abigail, Silvia, Sharon, Phillis, and Chella's home and just to play with and hug/love on them. Not being able to do anything that I've been blessed to do these past 5 months. But He reminds me of His goodness and comfort. I have been so blessed by the time He has given me here and all the friendships that He has blessed me with. I receive it all with thanksgiving and am doing my best not to grieve..because I have Hope.
It's been awesome to see a lot of the kids repent of their sins and have come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. It brings Hope and cheers me up because I know that one day I will be with them in heaven worshiping Jesus. I'm still praying about coming back and seeing them again next year, so if the Lord allows me come back....I will see them face-to-face one more time.
I really don't want to leave Kenya...but I am beyond excited to see my family and friends in Miami once again. I've missed my church, ChristFellowship, and my small group girls. I'm looking forward to eating good food and driving again."
Today is Friday, October the 12, and my life is all packed up in two duffel bags. It's my last weekend here in Kenya and there is so much to do. I've been helping paint the boys' room in the new house and trying not to think about Tuesday. I've been packing and in the process of writing goodbye letters and preparing the gifts I have for the kids. Lord willing, I will be spending tomorrow and Sunday night there at the Children's Home, on Sunday morning I will be visiting a friend's church, and on Monday I plan on going to my class and saying goodbye to all my students. Tuesday morning I'll be on my way to Nairobi and getting on a plane at night.
It's a bittersweet feeling that I have inside me. I am heartbroken that I'm leaving Kenya and that I won't be able to see my kids everyday, but I am sooooo excited about being back in Miami and hugging and jumping on the ones I love. God has been so faithful and gracious. He always reminds me of His goodness and sovereignty, His timing and plans, and how He will never leave us nor foresake us no matter where on earth we are. I know that He is with all my kids here and He will never leave them. He is our care-taker and the God of all comfort. He is my Strength. He is my Joy. He is my Hope.
This will be my last blogpost here in Kenya. So I leave you all with this: Be obedient in the small and the big; He will be faithful in the big and small. Take Him at His Word. For He says what He means, and He means what He says. Give it all for the glory of God. Jesus Christ worthy of it all.
I finished the book of 1 Peter this past week and I loved this:
"The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." -1 Peter 4:7-11
Let us never forget of the Source of it all. God supplies us with the strength to serve Him, He has taught me that while serving Him here in Kenya. He does this in order that in everything He may be glorified through Jesus Christ to Him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. AMEN!
So by the strength that He provides, I have served the time He has given me here in Kenya, by the strength that He supplies, I will continue to serve Him where He leads me. By His grace and strength I will go back to the States on Tuesday night with a heart filled with hope.
I love you all and I thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Thank you for taking time to read my blogposts. It's been so encouraging to hear what He taught you through my posts and how He has used me and my crazy life experiences to encourage you.
Please continue to pray for the kids here. I'll try and post more pictures and give you names and all that jazz when I get back to Miami.
"May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all." -2 Corinthians 13:14.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
In the End...Jesus Always Wins.
This past week I got to talk on the phone with my brother for his birthday. We ended up talking for 2 hours, which is no surprise....my Lou likes to take his time...and I love to know what's going on in life. After talking to him about life, he began to tell me what's been going on in the world. Everything to from with Israel and it's surrounding countries to Obama and the upcoming elections. Pretty much just telling me that Jesus is coming soon and very soon! After hanging up with Lou, I informed my roommate about what I had heard from my brother about whats been going on back home in the States. As you can tell...we are so exluded from news and civiliation (in a way)....living-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-Kenya/Africa, that it's a shock to hear all these things from back home. Before calling my brother, my roommate, Bella, and I had just finished listening to a sermon by her pastor on Matthew 28 and how "All authority in heaven and on earth has be given to Me [Jesus Christ]" (verse 18). The pastor talked about His sovereignty and authority over all things. Here on earth, whether it be something like the elections or war, even the enemy himself...He has the authority. I loved one thing that he mentioned and it was something like this, "Yes, Satan is a power creature, he is more powerful than humans, but he is only like a dog held by a leash, and God is holding that leash." He is in control of ALL things. In the end, Jesus wins. Jesus always wins.
This week I started reading M. David Sills' The Missionary Call, Bella let me borrow it. It's been very encouraging to read. I'll share a few qoutes with ya'll that have hit home:
"When God calls His child to live a life of a missionary, He gives him the desire with the calling." -David Sills.
"It is impossible to know God's specific will unless we are willing to bring our lives into comformity with His general will." -J. Herbert Kane.
"The aim of the missionary is to do God's will, not to be useful. not to win the heathen; he is useful and he does win the heathen, but that is not his aim. His aim is to do the will of his Lord."-Oswald Chambers.
And one of my favorites, "Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't...Missions begins and ends in worship." -John Piper. (Let the Nations Be Glad).
This morning I had a dream with Lars Gren and Elisabeth Elliot! And it was something like this:
It was late at night and we had to go to Nakumat (our BJ's or Costco). We went and while the Medlins were making the line to pay...I noticed that there was a cute old mzungu (white person) employee and he was standing near the electronics. I go up to him and asked him if he worked the night shifts (since Nakumat is open 24/7). He said yes. I engaged in a nice concervation with him...and found out that him and his wife were missionaries and settled down here in Kenya after many years. They lived in the outshirts of towns. He invited me over to spend time with him and his family and talk about missions and Jesus. I replied, "I would love that!" It was time for me to leave Nakumat...so I began walking over to where the Medlins were and I was told that the old sir I was talking to was Elisabeth Elliot's husband! I was talking to Lars Gren and he invited me over to talk to him and Elisabeth. A couple of days later I ended up at their beautiful home. Elisabeth and her daughter Valerie were home and invited me in. We all went out to this beautiful restaurant for lunch. The whole time I was in shock that I was actually face to face with my mentor LOL! Elisabeth and I got to talk about life. I asked her questions about all her life experiences and asked for advice concerning my life and decisions.
I woke up and wished it was real life. It was such a interesting dream! I would love to meet Elisabeth Elliot and Lars Gren one day and talk about missions and Jesus and life.
Anyways...yes, this was a weird blogpost, but I just thought I would catch you guys up.
In exactly 2 weeks I'll be all packed and ready to head home. Crazy how time has flown by.
I just pray that He would give me the strength to say goodbye to everyone.
Praying about coming back and seeing them all again next year.
This week I started reading M. David Sills' The Missionary Call, Bella let me borrow it. It's been very encouraging to read. I'll share a few qoutes with ya'll that have hit home:
"When God calls His child to live a life of a missionary, He gives him the desire with the calling." -David Sills.
"It is impossible to know God's specific will unless we are willing to bring our lives into comformity with His general will." -J. Herbert Kane.
"The aim of the missionary is to do God's will, not to be useful. not to win the heathen; he is useful and he does win the heathen, but that is not his aim. His aim is to do the will of his Lord."-Oswald Chambers.
And one of my favorites, "Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't...Missions begins and ends in worship." -John Piper. (Let the Nations Be Glad).
This morning I had a dream with Lars Gren and Elisabeth Elliot! And it was something like this:
It was late at night and we had to go to Nakumat (our BJ's or Costco). We went and while the Medlins were making the line to pay...I noticed that there was a cute old mzungu (white person) employee and he was standing near the electronics. I go up to him and asked him if he worked the night shifts (since Nakumat is open 24/7). He said yes. I engaged in a nice concervation with him...and found out that him and his wife were missionaries and settled down here in Kenya after many years. They lived in the outshirts of towns. He invited me over to spend time with him and his family and talk about missions and Jesus. I replied, "I would love that!" It was time for me to leave Nakumat...so I began walking over to where the Medlins were and I was told that the old sir I was talking to was Elisabeth Elliot's husband! I was talking to Lars Gren and he invited me over to talk to him and Elisabeth. A couple of days later I ended up at their beautiful home. Elisabeth and her daughter Valerie were home and invited me in. We all went out to this beautiful restaurant for lunch. The whole time I was in shock that I was actually face to face with my mentor LOL! Elisabeth and I got to talk about life. I asked her questions about all her life experiences and asked for advice concerning my life and decisions.
I woke up and wished it was real life. It was such a interesting dream! I would love to meet Elisabeth Elliot and Lars Gren one day and talk about missions and Jesus and life.
Anyways...yes, this was a weird blogpost, but I just thought I would catch you guys up.
In exactly 2 weeks I'll be all packed and ready to head home. Crazy how time has flown by.
I just pray that He would give me the strength to say goodbye to everyone.
Praying about coming back and seeing them all again next year.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Be Thou My Vision, Be My Delight.
"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, put first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied
My Jesus, you satisfy
My Jesus, you satisfy
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied."
This song has been playing on repeat.
These past few days have been interesting...I keep having these dreams at night and waking up to reality. To brokenness and to a heavy heart. Things from the past pop up in my present thoughts. "The grey remains of a friendship scarred," as described by The Shins. Questions are asked. Thoughts rush through my head. A physical chest pain creeps back into my life. "My heart hurts, Abba," I find myself crying out with watery eyes. "Why? Why do I still dream about this? How could this be? I don't understand. I feel this chest paing, I guess this is my own "thorn in the flesh," Abba, I'm weak, but I rejoice and give thanks in my weakness, for it is in my weakness where Your power is made perfect," were the questions and statements that I found myself writing down in my green-flowered journal.
I had just finished reading the book of Hebrews yesterday and I decided to lay down on my bed and write. I picked up the Ana-journal and began to write about what exactly had been going on with me (knowing Ana...she would want to know everything and the details...which I couldn't...I wish she was here with me so I could verbally tell her). After filling up a couple of pages with details, of which I won't be sharing with you all...pole [sorry in Swahili], I shared,
"But He reminds me of His goodness, His forgiveness and love. His grace and mercy. His strength and healing. His sovereignty and plans. His restoration in me. His work in me. My sanctification. How our sweet, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8. I had a picture of this in my heard this morning when I felt a chest pain/heartbreak: It's Jesus and me. I feel God shaping me (with sandpaper so it seems). I'm crying in pain and looking to Him. Jesus is there with me. He walks along side me. He holds my hand. He pours love and grace on me. He encourages/ministers to me. "It's okay, my loved one. There is no need to fear/worry, I work all things out for your good. This pain is only temporary. You are eternally Mine. I will never leave you or forsake you. Cling to me. I will give you hope and show you the way to Life. I love you, My daughter. I am the One who died for you and conquered death for you to have Life in/throught Me. Trust Me. This pain is necessary." I run into His arms and embrace Him. He carries me. Although I can't draw a picture of His face, I know His presence. I know Him and He knows me. He carries me in His bosom [read Isaiah 40:11]. He gives me rest. He gives me peace. He gives me hope, which is Himself."
Then this morning I read my mentor's daily devotional (yes, I'm talking about Elisabeth Elliot), she titles the post Why is God Doing This to Me? and she writes,
"I have been compiling a list of the answers God Himself has given us to our persistent question about adversity:
1. We need to be pruned. In Jesus' last discourse with His disciples before He was crucified (a discourse meant for us as well as for them), He explained that God is the gardener, He Himself is the vine, and we are branches. If we are bearing fruit, then we must be pruned. This is a painful process. Jesus knew that His disciples would face much suffering. He showed them, in this beautiful metaphor, that it was not for nothing. Only the well-pruned vine bears the best fruit. They could take comfort in knowing that the pruning proved they were neither barren nor withered, for in that case they would simply be burned up in the brushpile.
Pruning requires the cutting away not only of what is superfluous but also of what appears to be good stock. Why should we be so baffled when the Lord cuts away good things from our lives? He has explained why. "This is my Father's glory, that you may bear fruit in plenty and so be my disciples" (John 15:8, NEB). We need not see how it works. He has told us it does work.
2. We need to be refined. Peter wrote to God's scattered people, reminding them that even though they were "smarting for a little while under trials of many kinds" (they were in exile--the sort of trial most of us would think rather more than "smart"), they were nevertheless chosen in the purpose of God, hallowed to His service, and consecrated with the blood of Jesus Christ. With all that, they still needed refining. Gold is gold, but it has to go through fire. Faith is even more precious, so faith will always have another test to stand. Remember God's loving promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is all you need; power comes to its full strength in weakness" (NEB).
But Thou art making me, I thank Thee, sire.
What Thou hast done and doest Thou knows't well.
And I will help Thee; gently in Thy fire
I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel
I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.
Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell,
And growing strength perfect through weakness dire.
-George MacDonald."
Isn't that beautiful! I love it when things that Elisabeth writes hits home and it goes along with what the Spirit has been teaching me. Then later on today He reminded me of something that I had read yesterday in Hebrews. I encourage you all to stay with me (I know this post is a little long..but let's be serious..my posts are always long, pole) and read this:
"And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by Him.
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and chastises every son whom He receives."
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." -Hebrews 12:5-11.
So here I am, sitting on my bed. It's late and I wish Kenya was in the same time-zone as Miami. I'm typing this up and hoping that through what He has been teaching me you may be ministered to and encouraged. The lyrics of Be Thou My Vision by Ascend the Hill that I wrote in the beginning of this post has a verse that I can't seem to get over and that is: My Jesus, You Satisfy.
Along with: Oh God, be my everything, be my delight. Be, Jesus, my glory my soul's satisfied.
God Himself has called us to be His sons and daughters, we are adopted as His own through our beautiful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The Creator of the universe not only calls me, but treats/disciplines as His daughter. This pain and heartache I go through, this past friendship that creeps into my present, this thorn in my flesh, is just another opportunity for surrender. This shaping with sandpaper, this pruning and refining, this discipline is necessary. But let us never lose sight of the bigger picture. Like the author of Hebrews writes,
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."(Chapter 12 verse 1-2).
Jesus is the bigger picture. He is our reward. He is our goal. He is our everything. Let us look to Jesus and keep our eyes fixed on Him and Him alone.
Oh my sweet Jesus, be Thou our Vision. Be our Delight.
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, put first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied
My Jesus, you satisfy
My Jesus, you satisfy
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven's joys, bright Heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.
Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight
Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied."
This song has been playing on repeat.
These past few days have been interesting...I keep having these dreams at night and waking up to reality. To brokenness and to a heavy heart. Things from the past pop up in my present thoughts. "The grey remains of a friendship scarred," as described by The Shins. Questions are asked. Thoughts rush through my head. A physical chest pain creeps back into my life. "My heart hurts, Abba," I find myself crying out with watery eyes. "Why? Why do I still dream about this? How could this be? I don't understand. I feel this chest paing, I guess this is my own "thorn in the flesh," Abba, I'm weak, but I rejoice and give thanks in my weakness, for it is in my weakness where Your power is made perfect," were the questions and statements that I found myself writing down in my green-flowered journal.
I had just finished reading the book of Hebrews yesterday and I decided to lay down on my bed and write. I picked up the Ana-journal and began to write about what exactly had been going on with me (knowing Ana...she would want to know everything and the details...which I couldn't...I wish she was here with me so I could verbally tell her). After filling up a couple of pages with details, of which I won't be sharing with you all...pole [sorry in Swahili], I shared,
"But He reminds me of His goodness, His forgiveness and love. His grace and mercy. His strength and healing. His sovereignty and plans. His restoration in me. His work in me. My sanctification. How our sweet, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8. I had a picture of this in my heard this morning when I felt a chest pain/heartbreak: It's Jesus and me. I feel God shaping me (with sandpaper so it seems). I'm crying in pain and looking to Him. Jesus is there with me. He walks along side me. He holds my hand. He pours love and grace on me. He encourages/ministers to me. "It's okay, my loved one. There is no need to fear/worry, I work all things out for your good. This pain is only temporary. You are eternally Mine. I will never leave you or forsake you. Cling to me. I will give you hope and show you the way to Life. I love you, My daughter. I am the One who died for you and conquered death for you to have Life in/throught Me. Trust Me. This pain is necessary." I run into His arms and embrace Him. He carries me. Although I can't draw a picture of His face, I know His presence. I know Him and He knows me. He carries me in His bosom [read Isaiah 40:11]. He gives me rest. He gives me peace. He gives me hope, which is Himself."
Then this morning I read my mentor's daily devotional (yes, I'm talking about Elisabeth Elliot), she titles the post Why is God Doing This to Me? and she writes,
"I have been compiling a list of the answers God Himself has given us to our persistent question about adversity:
1. We need to be pruned. In Jesus' last discourse with His disciples before He was crucified (a discourse meant for us as well as for them), He explained that God is the gardener, He Himself is the vine, and we are branches. If we are bearing fruit, then we must be pruned. This is a painful process. Jesus knew that His disciples would face much suffering. He showed them, in this beautiful metaphor, that it was not for nothing. Only the well-pruned vine bears the best fruit. They could take comfort in knowing that the pruning proved they were neither barren nor withered, for in that case they would simply be burned up in the brushpile.
Pruning requires the cutting away not only of what is superfluous but also of what appears to be good stock. Why should we be so baffled when the Lord cuts away good things from our lives? He has explained why. "This is my Father's glory, that you may bear fruit in plenty and so be my disciples" (John 15:8, NEB). We need not see how it works. He has told us it does work.
2. We need to be refined. Peter wrote to God's scattered people, reminding them that even though they were "smarting for a little while under trials of many kinds" (they were in exile--the sort of trial most of us would think rather more than "smart"), they were nevertheless chosen in the purpose of God, hallowed to His service, and consecrated with the blood of Jesus Christ. With all that, they still needed refining. Gold is gold, but it has to go through fire. Faith is even more precious, so faith will always have another test to stand. Remember God's loving promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is all you need; power comes to its full strength in weakness" (NEB).
But Thou art making me, I thank Thee, sire.
What Thou hast done and doest Thou knows't well.
And I will help Thee; gently in Thy fire
I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel
I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel.
Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell,
And growing strength perfect through weakness dire.
-George MacDonald."
Isn't that beautiful! I love it when things that Elisabeth writes hits home and it goes along with what the Spirit has been teaching me. Then later on today He reminded me of something that I had read yesterday in Hebrews. I encourage you all to stay with me (I know this post is a little long..but let's be serious..my posts are always long, pole) and read this:
"And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by Him.
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,
and chastises every son whom He receives."
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." -Hebrews 12:5-11.
So here I am, sitting on my bed. It's late and I wish Kenya was in the same time-zone as Miami. I'm typing this up and hoping that through what He has been teaching me you may be ministered to and encouraged. The lyrics of Be Thou My Vision by Ascend the Hill that I wrote in the beginning of this post has a verse that I can't seem to get over and that is: My Jesus, You Satisfy.
Along with: Oh God, be my everything, be my delight. Be, Jesus, my glory my soul's satisfied.
God Himself has called us to be His sons and daughters, we are adopted as His own through our beautiful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The Creator of the universe not only calls me, but treats/disciplines as His daughter. This pain and heartache I go through, this past friendship that creeps into my present, this thorn in my flesh, is just another opportunity for surrender. This shaping with sandpaper, this pruning and refining, this discipline is necessary. But let us never lose sight of the bigger picture. Like the author of Hebrews writes,
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."(Chapter 12 verse 1-2).
Jesus is the bigger picture. He is our reward. He is our goal. He is our everything. Let us look to Jesus and keep our eyes fixed on Him and Him alone.
Oh my sweet Jesus, be Thou our Vision. Be our Delight.
Monday, September 24, 2012
A Gleam Across the Wave
My mentor, Elisabeth Elliot, posted a daily devotional titled A Lighthouse in Brooklyn, and I wanted to share it with you all.
Elliot writes, "For forty years a little piece of my heart has been in Brooklyn, New York. For a few months in 1951 I lived there in order to attend a Spanish-speaking church and take language lessons before going to Ecuador. But now a bigger piece of my heart is in Brooklyn--so big, in fact, that I have felt a longing to give up the house we live in and the work we do and just move there!
I'll explain. I'd been invited to speak to a group of women on a Saturday afternoon at Brooklyn Tabernacle. It sounded interesting, but I was not expecting anything quite so thrilling as it proved to be. Brooklyn, for a start, is a tough place. There's a lot of poverty. Drugs and muggings and murders are practically everyday occurrences, and there had been some very ugly riots between Jews and blacks in one of the most "civilized" sections. The neighborhood where I had lived was pretty bleak back then, so I wondered if it could be any worse now. I was eager to try to find 519 Bushwick Avenue (a fifth-floor walk-up, at $17 per month--lots of noise, strange cooking odors, large rats, and very little heat or hot water). Abraham, the kind man who drove us around, managed to find the location all right, but the whole block had been razed (no wonder). There was nothing there but empty lots. Well, not empty really--mattresses, old refrigerators, bedsprings, tires, sofas with the stuffings coming out--you name it, you could have picked it up. In fact, there were such mountains of trash everywhere, I wondered where they'd put it if they ever did decide to clean up the place. Desolate and depressing in the extreme. Graffiti, that hideous evidence of defiance of all law and order, covered every surface within reach of the ground and many high above it. Abraham said thousands of people are always cleaning it up, and it's back the next morning.
I kept thinking about the old gospel song, "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning" Here's part of it:
Dark the night of sin has settled,
Loud the angry billows roar;
Eager eyes are watching, longing,
For the lights along the shore
Let the lower lights be burning,
Send a gleam across the wave,
Some poor, fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.
There on Flatbush Avenue stands Brooklyn Tabernacle, sending its gleam across the wave. Thousands have "made the harbor" because of its light. My audience was a wonderful mixture of colors and ethnic backgrounds, the music was louder than I'm used to but wonderfully exuberant and heartfelt. There was no doubt about it--those women were worshipping. I heard some of their stories--to me nearly unimaginable--of drugs, alcohol, abuse, poverty, abandonment. One mother's anonymous letter to the pastor told of her own heartbreak. Just that week she had learned that her fourteen-year-old daughter was pregnant. The father of the baby was the girl's seventeen-year-old brother. That mother said she had wanted to kill herself and her children, "But I'm making it," she wrote, "with Jesus and the help of this church."
We heard their two-hundred-voice choir at the Billy Graham rally in Central Park on Sunday afternoon. In the evening, after I had spoken again at the Tabernacle, we were having supper with a group of the church folks. I asked a woman named Marie to tell me her story. Her husband smiled and said, "She loves to tell it! It's her favorite story." How I wish I had room for the whole thing.
Her mother, five months pregnant, died of cancer. Marie, the baby, survived and was put in a foundling hospital. Later she was entrusted to the care of nuns who treated her cruelly, although they taught her about God. She felt sure God was better than they were, and she knew her daddy loved her, but she was hungry for more. At age ten she began sniffing glue. This led to smoking pot, then doing drugs for the next fifteen years. On a Club Med vacation in Mexico with her boyfriend she began to wonder why she was born. Why had God made her? What meaning was there in it all? God clearly spoke to her "Maria, give me your life. This is your last chance." Suddenly she lost her desire for drugs and told her boyfriend she would not sleep with him anymore. On her return to New York she found that a group of friends had been praying for her at the very time when this happened. Hers is a totally transformed life. She's married to the boyfriend, who is now a pastor.
"You should have seen me," he said, "long hair, three earrings in each ear, feathers!"
I thought of my own upbringing--Christ as the Head of our house, parents who loved Him, each other, and us. No alcohol or drugs, just the Bible and hymn-singing. A clean house on a clean street. I thought of Nicky Cruz's testimony that same afternoon at the Graham meeting--from deep sin and sorrow to joy; and of Johnny Cash's simple words: "Alcohol never gave me peace. Drugs never brought me happiness. I found both in Jesus Christ. He changed my life." Then he sang, "The Old Account Was Settled Long Ago," while his dear June burst in with her lusty refrain, "Down on my knees!"
Tears come as I write, remembering the unutterable JOY I saw on those upturned faces during those two days. Those people were still living with huge tribulations and deep heartbreaks, yet there was joy, there was peace, and there was love such as I see in few churches. I don't know when I've had so many hugs. How to account for it all? It's quite simple:
This doctrine of the cross is sheer folly to those on their way to ruin, but to us who are on the way to salvation, it is the power of God.... To shame the wise, God has chosen what the world counts folly, and to shame what is strong, God has chosen what the world counts weakness. He has chosen things low and contemptible, mere nothings, to overthrow the existing order. So there is no place for human pride in the presence of God....He is our righteousness; in him we are consecrated and set free.
1 Corinthians 1:18, 27-30, NEB."
These testimonies that Elisabeth shares are a great reminder of who are LORD is!
The power of Christ and of His Gospel can transform lives.
I pray that we, as His body, may boldly proclaim the Truth.
That we may be that gleam across the wave for the hurting and lost people in this world.
Elliot writes, "For forty years a little piece of my heart has been in Brooklyn, New York. For a few months in 1951 I lived there in order to attend a Spanish-speaking church and take language lessons before going to Ecuador. But now a bigger piece of my heart is in Brooklyn--so big, in fact, that I have felt a longing to give up the house we live in and the work we do and just move there!
I'll explain. I'd been invited to speak to a group of women on a Saturday afternoon at Brooklyn Tabernacle. It sounded interesting, but I was not expecting anything quite so thrilling as it proved to be. Brooklyn, for a start, is a tough place. There's a lot of poverty. Drugs and muggings and murders are practically everyday occurrences, and there had been some very ugly riots between Jews and blacks in one of the most "civilized" sections. The neighborhood where I had lived was pretty bleak back then, so I wondered if it could be any worse now. I was eager to try to find 519 Bushwick Avenue (a fifth-floor walk-up, at $17 per month--lots of noise, strange cooking odors, large rats, and very little heat or hot water). Abraham, the kind man who drove us around, managed to find the location all right, but the whole block had been razed (no wonder). There was nothing there but empty lots. Well, not empty really--mattresses, old refrigerators, bedsprings, tires, sofas with the stuffings coming out--you name it, you could have picked it up. In fact, there were such mountains of trash everywhere, I wondered where they'd put it if they ever did decide to clean up the place. Desolate and depressing in the extreme. Graffiti, that hideous evidence of defiance of all law and order, covered every surface within reach of the ground and many high above it. Abraham said thousands of people are always cleaning it up, and it's back the next morning.
I kept thinking about the old gospel song, "Let the Lower Lights Be Burning" Here's part of it:
Dark the night of sin has settled,
Loud the angry billows roar;
Eager eyes are watching, longing,
For the lights along the shore
Let the lower lights be burning,
Send a gleam across the wave,
Some poor, fainting, struggling seaman
You may rescue, you may save.
There on Flatbush Avenue stands Brooklyn Tabernacle, sending its gleam across the wave. Thousands have "made the harbor" because of its light. My audience was a wonderful mixture of colors and ethnic backgrounds, the music was louder than I'm used to but wonderfully exuberant and heartfelt. There was no doubt about it--those women were worshipping. I heard some of their stories--to me nearly unimaginable--of drugs, alcohol, abuse, poverty, abandonment. One mother's anonymous letter to the pastor told of her own heartbreak. Just that week she had learned that her fourteen-year-old daughter was pregnant. The father of the baby was the girl's seventeen-year-old brother. That mother said she had wanted to kill herself and her children, "But I'm making it," she wrote, "with Jesus and the help of this church."
We heard their two-hundred-voice choir at the Billy Graham rally in Central Park on Sunday afternoon. In the evening, after I had spoken again at the Tabernacle, we were having supper with a group of the church folks. I asked a woman named Marie to tell me her story. Her husband smiled and said, "She loves to tell it! It's her favorite story." How I wish I had room for the whole thing.
Her mother, five months pregnant, died of cancer. Marie, the baby, survived and was put in a foundling hospital. Later she was entrusted to the care of nuns who treated her cruelly, although they taught her about God. She felt sure God was better than they were, and she knew her daddy loved her, but she was hungry for more. At age ten she began sniffing glue. This led to smoking pot, then doing drugs for the next fifteen years. On a Club Med vacation in Mexico with her boyfriend she began to wonder why she was born. Why had God made her? What meaning was there in it all? God clearly spoke to her "Maria, give me your life. This is your last chance." Suddenly she lost her desire for drugs and told her boyfriend she would not sleep with him anymore. On her return to New York she found that a group of friends had been praying for her at the very time when this happened. Hers is a totally transformed life. She's married to the boyfriend, who is now a pastor.
"You should have seen me," he said, "long hair, three earrings in each ear, feathers!"
I thought of my own upbringing--Christ as the Head of our house, parents who loved Him, each other, and us. No alcohol or drugs, just the Bible and hymn-singing. A clean house on a clean street. I thought of Nicky Cruz's testimony that same afternoon at the Graham meeting--from deep sin and sorrow to joy; and of Johnny Cash's simple words: "Alcohol never gave me peace. Drugs never brought me happiness. I found both in Jesus Christ. He changed my life." Then he sang, "The Old Account Was Settled Long Ago," while his dear June burst in with her lusty refrain, "Down on my knees!"
Tears come as I write, remembering the unutterable JOY I saw on those upturned faces during those two days. Those people were still living with huge tribulations and deep heartbreaks, yet there was joy, there was peace, and there was love such as I see in few churches. I don't know when I've had so many hugs. How to account for it all? It's quite simple:
This doctrine of the cross is sheer folly to those on their way to ruin, but to us who are on the way to salvation, it is the power of God.... To shame the wise, God has chosen what the world counts folly, and to shame what is strong, God has chosen what the world counts weakness. He has chosen things low and contemptible, mere nothings, to overthrow the existing order. So there is no place for human pride in the presence of God....He is our righteousness; in him we are consecrated and set free.
1 Corinthians 1:18, 27-30, NEB."
These testimonies that Elisabeth shares are a great reminder of who are LORD is!
The power of Christ and of His Gospel can transform lives.
I pray that we, as His body, may boldly proclaim the Truth.
That we may be that gleam across the wave for the hurting and lost people in this world.
Monday, September 17, 2012
The Strength of My Life and the Source of it All
I had just gotten back home from spending the day at Children's Home for church. I had a few mintues till I had to be on-the-go again so I decided to write in the journal one of my bestfriends, Ana Echezabal, gave me. So I hope you're happy Ana! I'm finally writing in it (little by little). As I look back and read old journal entries, I think about the past and my present and how His Word has brought me comfort and joy. He gives me hope. He is my hope. Even when I'm down, He lifts me up. So I thought it would bring some encouragement and comfort to share a journal entry with you all.
So here is the journal entry I wrote yesterday:
"He is so good! Sunday, September 16th, 2012.
I'm pretty sure you've read my latest blogpost on this matter ^ [I had written about the possibility of bring a child home with me in the entry above]. I've tried to catch up on some writing but I can't seem to find much time. It's Sunday and I'm laying in bed waiting to leave home and head to town (Eldoret, Kenya) for dinner. It's 5:30pm (which means it's only 10:30am in Miami). I taught Sunday School this morning...the Lord really is my strength! I had over 75 young kids. I would say just about 20 of them were babies, which indicates alot of crying, peeing and pooping going on. Loud cries coming from all corners of the room where I try and teach them about Jesus and God's love and what His Word says. Today was a very frustrating Sunday morning for me. I could barely hear myself, I ran out of candy (or as the Kenyans say, "sweets"..."give me sweet!") for my kids, I could only share my lesson with about 20 kids. It was crazy. But He is good. I got to see/be with my girls and love on them. I got to eat rice and beans for lunch, which is always a treat. I got to spend a few minutes in His Word [after lunch I hid away in the girls' room to be still]. I'm refreshed by His love and grace. I read Psalm 27 and 28. Listen to this:
"The LORD is the stronghold of my life..."-Psalm 27:1
"One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the Beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple." -Psalm 27:4."
It was time for me to leave Kaptagat, so I had to stop there.
But wow! That verse caught my attention. To gaze upon the beauty of the LORD! Oh the thought of it all. To be in the presence of the Almighty God and be enthralled by His beauty. To be in awe, to be mesmerized by Him and all that He is. His glory and beauty.
This is what He has been reminding me:
My sweet Jesus is faithful. His promises stand true.
"For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble;
He will conceal me under the cover of His tent;
He will lift me high upon a rock [Jesus is my Rock. He is the rock that is soooo much higher than I!]." -Psalm 27:5
He reminds me thats it's the condition of my heart that matters and that He is my Help. He reminds me that even if my father and mother, my family or friends foresake me, if the whole world turns against me, He takes me in.
"Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, "Seek My face."My heart says to You,
"Your face, Lord, do I seek."
Hide not Your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O You who have been my Help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in."-Psalm 27:7-10
This Monday afternoon, I sit on my bed while listening to Hillsong and typying this up. The song Open My Eyes from Hillsong's A Beautiful Exchange starts playing on my ipod.
The lyrics,
"I know Your love is all that I need
And I seek to know the ways of Your heart.
So open my eyes oh God
Open my heart to see
All the wonders and the power of Your name
By Your grace I'll live
By Your grace I'll see
For my life and my salvation is in You,"
remind me to cling to Him. To His grace and love. To seek Him first.
"Teach me Your way, O Lord..."-Psalm 27:11a.
Sometimes life can be overwhelming and frustrating. At times it's hard for me to be Christ-like when people stare, laugh and rip me off because I'm white here. It's hard because I want to be like Jesus Christ but sometimes my flesh gets in the way, and when that happens....I long to be in my flesh no longer. I want to be in heaven with Him and not have to deal with my flesh. I wish He would come back already. But He reminds me to wait for Him. To be strong and take heart.
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
This one is my favorite:
He hears and answers me. He is my Strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him, He comes to my aid. My heart and life exults Him. My life song give thanks to Him for all that He is, all that He had done, and all that He does.
"Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." -Psalm 28:6-7.
The hymn As the Deer comes to mind. I encourage you to read the lyrics and sing it out loud to our Lord and Savior.
"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after You
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You're my friend and You are my brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy-giver
And the apple of my eye.
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You."
So here is the journal entry I wrote yesterday:
"He is so good! Sunday, September 16th, 2012.
I'm pretty sure you've read my latest blogpost on this matter ^ [I had written about the possibility of bring a child home with me in the entry above]. I've tried to catch up on some writing but I can't seem to find much time. It's Sunday and I'm laying in bed waiting to leave home and head to town (Eldoret, Kenya) for dinner. It's 5:30pm (which means it's only 10:30am in Miami). I taught Sunday School this morning...the Lord really is my strength! I had over 75 young kids. I would say just about 20 of them were babies, which indicates alot of crying, peeing and pooping going on. Loud cries coming from all corners of the room where I try and teach them about Jesus and God's love and what His Word says. Today was a very frustrating Sunday morning for me. I could barely hear myself, I ran out of candy (or as the Kenyans say, "sweets"..."give me sweet!") for my kids, I could only share my lesson with about 20 kids. It was crazy. But He is good. I got to see/be with my girls and love on them. I got to eat rice and beans for lunch, which is always a treat. I got to spend a few minutes in His Word [after lunch I hid away in the girls' room to be still]. I'm refreshed by His love and grace. I read Psalm 27 and 28. Listen to this:
"The LORD is the stronghold of my life..."-Psalm 27:1
"One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the Beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple." -Psalm 27:4."
It was time for me to leave Kaptagat, so I had to stop there.
But wow! That verse caught my attention. To gaze upon the beauty of the LORD! Oh the thought of it all. To be in the presence of the Almighty God and be enthralled by His beauty. To be in awe, to be mesmerized by Him and all that He is. His glory and beauty.
This is what He has been reminding me:
My sweet Jesus is faithful. His promises stand true.
"For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble;
He will conceal me under the cover of His tent;
He will lift me high upon a rock [Jesus is my Rock. He is the rock that is soooo much higher than I!]." -Psalm 27:5
He reminds me thats it's the condition of my heart that matters and that He is my Help. He reminds me that even if my father and mother, my family or friends foresake me, if the whole world turns against me, He takes me in.
"Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, "Seek My face."My heart says to You,
"Your face, Lord, do I seek."
Hide not Your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O You who have been my Help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in."-Psalm 27:7-10
This Monday afternoon, I sit on my bed while listening to Hillsong and typying this up. The song Open My Eyes from Hillsong's A Beautiful Exchange starts playing on my ipod.
The lyrics,
"I know Your love is all that I need
And I seek to know the ways of Your heart.
So open my eyes oh God
Open my heart to see
All the wonders and the power of Your name
By Your grace I'll live
By Your grace I'll see
For my life and my salvation is in You,"
remind me to cling to Him. To His grace and love. To seek Him first.
"Teach me Your way, O Lord..."-Psalm 27:11a.
Sometimes life can be overwhelming and frustrating. At times it's hard for me to be Christ-like when people stare, laugh and rip me off because I'm white here. It's hard because I want to be like Jesus Christ but sometimes my flesh gets in the way, and when that happens....I long to be in my flesh no longer. I want to be in heaven with Him and not have to deal with my flesh. I wish He would come back already. But He reminds me to wait for Him. To be strong and take heart.
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" -Psalm 27:13-14
This one is my favorite:
He hears and answers me. He is my Strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him, He comes to my aid. My heart and life exults Him. My life song give thanks to Him for all that He is, all that He had done, and all that He does.
"Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him." -Psalm 28:6-7.
The hymn As the Deer comes to mind. I encourage you to read the lyrics and sing it out loud to our Lord and Savior.
"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after You
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
You're my friend and You are my brother
Even though You are a King
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You
I want You more than gold or silver,
Only You can satisfy.
You alone are the real joy-giver
And the apple of my eye.
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship You."
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