The Perfect Who Carried the Pain of the Imperfect and Wretched.

"He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength."-Isaiah 40:29

This past week has been so very long. It has only been a week since the team left but it seems/feels like that was forever ago. I've been pushing off writing whats been going on. So here I am...sitting on my bed once again. Waiting for a roommate to be done with the internet stick so I can quickly check some messages from back home. While I sit here listening to Ascend the Hill's Take the World, but Give Me Jesus album, I'm thinking about all that I am and all that He is. I encourage you to just sit down, take a break from this crazy life, and think about all that you are...and then remember all that He is. All that He has done and continues to do. The truth is...what/who I am is no pretty picture. I'm so unworthy of my sweet Jesus. We all are. I'm so imperfect. I'm here in Kenya...trying to be Christ to these people and proclaim His name and His Gospel, but I find myself often feeling like this:

I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I don't ever want to hear the word "mzungu" (its what Kenyan call white people) ever again. I'm tired of people excepting me to be rich because I'm American. I'm tired of people trying to rip me off because I'm white. I want to be clean. I want to eat a whole entire Colombian restaurant right now. If I hear another American complain/whine one more time...I s***r (for all of you who are struggling to figure to missing letters:  Swear. I don't like to use that word but yeah). I'm tired of men coming up to me sweet talking and asking for my name, number, and if I could marry them. I just want to run to my room (my room in America) and scream. I just want to see my bestfriends. I just want to be with my family. I just want to be left alone for a few minutes and just pray outloud. I just want some decent wifi that actually works in town to skype with people back home. That’s all I want.

Everything above is so...selfish. I am a wretch. I sometimes make it all about me but He always humbles me and reminds me that...in reality...NOTHING is about me. It’s ALL about Him.
I'm so imperfect. I'm selfish. I'm unworthy of all that He is. 

Lately the Lord has been reminding me of who He is and teaching me this:

"What is man, that You are mindful of him, or the son of man, that You care for him?"-Psalm 8:4-6.

I am nothing. I am dust, yet my gracious King still thinks of me.

"Now in putting everything in subjection to Him, He left nothing outside His control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to Him. But we see Him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone.

For it was fitting that He, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the Founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. For He who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why He is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying, “I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.”"-Hebrews 2:8-12.

Jesus Christ, Almighty God in flesh, tasted death for me. He carried the pain that was meant for me. Jesus, the Founder of our salvation, the Perfect carried what was meant to be for us the imperfect. Can you say, “AMAZING GRACE!” My sweet Jesus is not ashamed to call me sister. He is not ashamed to call me daughter. He is not ashamed to call me friend. This King is mindful of me.  

"Therefore He had to be made like His brothers in every respect, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because He Himself has suffered when tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted."-Hebrews 2:17-18.

Think about it: Jesus Himself like us human…yet He never sinned. He was never selfish. Jesus Himself suffered…He is able to help and comfort me in my suffering.   

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."-Hebrews 4:14-16.

This has to be my favorite. We do NOT have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. Jesus Christ sympathizes with our suffering. I find great comfort in that. We ought to be thankful that our God is a God that sympathizes with His children, and it’s because of His grace and mercy…cause we sure don’t deserve any of it. We don’t deserve His sympathy.

These past few days I’ve need His grace. I’ve needed His strength. I’ve needed His Truth and reminders. Every single day I’m in need of His mercy and grace. I’m tired and overwhelmed but He is Strength, Hope and Peace. All our fears and worries, all our struggles and troubles…we ought to take them to Him in prayer. All our pain…we ought to take them to the Lord in prayer.  

Joseph M. Scriven once wrote, “O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

Let us never forget the Grace that saves wretched. The Perfect who carried the pain of the imperfect. Always reminding ourselves of all that we are and all that He is.
     

“Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures


The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine”