Worries that Lead to Prayers

I always find myself worrying about the future. Its the worst. Today I found myself thinking alot about what I'm going to do when I get back home. Whether I should go back to taking college classes in the Spring, or go to India, praying about coming back here to Kenya and seeing my kids again. I recently recieved a message from my mom telling me that as a family we have started praying for the mission field, being open to the possibility of moving overseas and doing ministry as a family (we've always considered it, but now its in prayer). My heart rejoices to such a thought, moving overseas and being a missionary long-term. But my flesh gets in the way and my mind begins to wonder: Will I ever settle down? Will I ever meet someone? Will I ever get married? (hahahah!) Will I not have a comfy home to get back to in the States anymore? How often will I get to see my family and friends?...etc.

I found myself fearing the future this morning, but then He reminded me of this verse: "For God gave us (me) the spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control [the NKJV says "and of sound mind"]-2nd Timothy 1:7. Charles Spurgeon once wrote, "Half our fears arise from neglect of the Bible," and I would have to agree. This morning I kept myself busy (handing washing clothes and a pair of shoes, making sure some other clothes were drying outside in the short period of sunshine that we had,sweeping the room and bathroom..etc), trying not to overthink things. But it came to the point where I had to drop everything and go spend time with Jesus. I went and pour myself out to Him in prayer and writing. I picked up my Bible and began reading 2nd Timothy. I was comforted and reminded of His grace, love and power. Of how sovereign our God is. Why was I freaking out about future plans? Why was I fearing the possibility of never living a comfortable life again?

As I was on my bed, reading the Word of God, I was reminded of who is it I serve and how great and mighty He is: "...our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the Gospel..."-2nd Timothy 1:10b. That's our Savior! Think about it...

Paul writes, "But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me."-2nd Timothy 1:12b God is sovereign. He is able.

The thought that I can,"be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus (2nd Timothy 2:)," amazes me. His grace comforts me, His grace strengthens me, His grace saves me. Lately I've been physically tired, sometimes emotionally tired, but He strengthens me.

I want to be that "good soldier" that Paul writes about: "Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus."-2nd Timothy 2:3. I pray that my "aim is to please the One who enlisted him"-2nd Timothy 2:4b. There is no need to fear anything in this life, but Someone! Elisabeth Elliot once said, "Fear God and fear nothing else." Spending time in the Word gives me a new perspective every single time. My mind is renewed with each verse I read, His word is not bound!

"But the word of God is not bound! Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. The saying is trustworthy, for:If we have died with Him, we will also live with Him; if we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He also will deny us; if we are faithless, He remains faithful—for He cannot deny Himself."-2nd Timothy 2:9b-13.

I want to endure everything for the sake of His elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. And who knows....maybe that "everything" means never being comfortable again, never settling down, never marrying my gringo man, never having a comfy home to go back to in the States..etc. So why should I worry? To share in the suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus, to endure all uncertainties in life, to surrender everything to Christ and for His kingdom, is what we should all desire.

So let us turn to Him in prayer; worries that lead to surrender, and letting go of our selfish thoughts and wants.

"The world is shaking with fear. "What will become of us? Where will it all end? What if Russia...? What if cancer...? What if expression...?" The love of God has wrapped us round from before the foundations of the world. If we fear Him--that is, if we are brought to our knees before Him, reverence and worship Him in absolute assurance of his sovereignty, we cannot possibly be afraid of anything else. To love God is to destroy all other fear. To love the world is to be afraid of everything--what it may think of me, what it may do to me, what may happen today or tomorrow for which I am not prepared. "The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" (Ps 27:1 RSV). And yet, Lord, the truth is that I am often afraid. I confess it. All the weight of your promises seems sometimes to be only a feather, and the weight of my fears is lead. Reverse that, Lord, I pray. Give me the healthy fear that will make light of all the others--"The fear of the Lord is life; he who is full of it will rest untouched by evil" (Prv 19:23 NEB)." -Elisabeth Elliot.

The Need for Silence

Elisabeth Elliot writes, "It is always easier to add to the noise of the world than to be silent. Silence is a very precious thing--"There was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour" (Rv 8:1 AV), when the seventh seal was opened in the Book of the Revelation. Thunder and horses and martyrs and earthquakes had preceded the opening of this seal. Hail, fire, blood, and fearful judgment followed it--but in between, angels stood in the presence of God and there was utter silence. Have we learned to stand in God's presence, mouths shut, hearts open? "Lord, what do you want me to do?" We must be quiet in order to know Him and to hear Him and to hear Him answer us. "If any of you lack wisdom let him ask his friends." No. That is not the Word of the Lord. "If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God" (Jas 1:5 AV) is his Word to us. There is a place for asking wisdom of godly friends, but let us always go first to God. "Be still"--that is, shut up--"and know that He is God" (Ps 46:10 AV)."

My Heart is Overwhelmed with Joy and Love

I see a person God loves, and whom He wants to love through me.

To love a person with Christ's love and sharing about the hope that is in Him is the only thing my heart desires to do.

God has given me the opportunities to do so here in Kenya.

Today Phillis learned how to say my name! She wouldnt stop saying it. This means alot to me...because even though I'm usually always with my girls...they speak Kalenjin and I speak Swahili so verbal communication is..interesting.

The Beauty Of It All

This is Abigal

This is my Chella

This is Phillis

 

From right-left and top-bottom: 

Sharon, Phillis, Abigal, Silvia and Chella.

"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and truth."-1 John 3:18.

Be Not Overwhelmed...the LORD Answers Prayers.

Yesterday I was at the Children's Home (the orphanage) helping out with our Sunday School service and I noticed that Chella (my baby girl) and her sisters (my other sweet girls: Sharon, Phillis, Abigal, and Silvia) were no where to be found. It's very unusual for them to miss church so I began praying for these 5 sisters ...my mind started wondering if they were okay/healthy/did their parents not let them come?...etc. One of my baby-class students from Cheptigit named Vivan was there so I spent time loving on her.

Around noon I went inside the girls' dorm and laid down. I got my ipod and began to listen to a Passion 2012 session by Christine Caine. It was only a 26 minute session but it was a great one. It was a convicting one. As I laid there on this back-breaking/wooden-board bed listening to what the Lord had to say through Christine....I began to pray and pray and pray for more opportunities to make Him known. To share His love with the people I live among here in Kaptagat...that they too will come to know Christ and to experience the power of His might, His salvation, His love, and His comfort. That they too will know the Truth.

You see, here in Kenya the mission field is challenging in this way: Almost everyone here has heard of God. Most of them have heard about Jesus. Everyone calls themselves Christians..but they have never really heard/understood the Gospel. If I were to ask a Kenyan (alot of them..not all) how they became a Christ follower...they would tell me because they were born in a "Christian" famiy. If I were to ask a Kenyan to share their testimony with me...they wouldn't know what to say (again, alot...but not all).

After I finished listening to the session and praying...I got up from the bed and went outside. I began walking towards the playground and these two sisters come up to me and say, "Come to our home". There I was...in shock. A million thoughts went through my head. Lord, you answered my prayer. You have given me an opportunity to go to these kids' homes and meet their parents and share Christ with them.

So I began walking down the dirt road with all these little hands all over me. Two children on each hand. One girl playing with my hair behind me. I began to talk to them with the kidogo (little) ki-swahili I know. I asked them if they knew where Sharon's/Chella's house was, they took me to their house (it was a nice typical Kenyan mudhouse). I walked over to my girls and asked them why they didn't go to church today and that they were missed. One of the girls that invited me to her house (her name is Elisabeth) translated my question to Sharon. Sharon said that they couldn't go to church because they didn't have clean clothes. My eye began to water a little. I hugged them all...as they wore their dirty little dresses. I told them that it doesnt matter whether we have clean clothes or not. That they are always welcome at my home no matter what they wear. I made Sharon promise me that they would go to church each Sunday regardless of clean clothes or not. I told then I would be back...that I was going over to Elisabeth's and her sister Gladys' (they also have the cutest little brother names Sammy) house and as soon as I was done I would walk back.

So I got to Elisabeth's house and her mom comes and greets me. They sat me down in their little wooden family room (which was the size of a small bed room back in America) and the kids began to show me picture from a photo album. Peneni (the mother's name) insisted that I would stay and eat lunch with them. They had ugali for lunch...and I cannot swallow ugali..so Peneni treated me to an orange Fanta and come milk cookies. She was so welcoming and loving. She was a hard worker too. Her husband works in Town (Eldoret). He leaves in the morning and comes back home in the evening. She is a stay at home mom. I had never heard or seen of such a family that has both parents in the picture, the man provides and comes home to his family, and the mother stays at home with her children. As Peneni and I began to get to know eachother there in her living room, I noticed that she had alot of Scripture around her house. I asked her if she knew about Jesus. And she replied, "Yes, I know Jesus. He is my personal Savior." Her answer brought so much joy to my heart. I had never heard someone say it with all the hope and joy that she said it with. I got to share how I had been praying to Him for more opportunities to love on people in our community and how her daughters were an answer to that prayer. At the end of my visit I had asked her if she had any prayer requests. She brought all the kids inside the house and had them sing a couple of songs for me. Then we all got in a circle and she began to tell me her prayer requests. (requests like: praying for some family and friends that don't know the Lord, and for her two older kids that are away in boarding schools, for Gladys who has a cough...etc). The kids told me their prayer requests as well (to pray the sick and for those who were in the hospital). I began to thank God for allowing me to be there with them at their home. That He would bless Peneni and her household. That He would continue to provide in the great and mighty ways that He has provided for them. For the Lost. For the sick and poor. For the people in our community. For the Church. That He would be exacted among the nations. For sweet little Gladys and her cough.

I had to go back to the Children's Home in time to eat a late lunch (yes, it was gidairy=maze and beans). Peneni walked with me half way. As I walked with them I see this little girl walking across this field...it was my Chella. She was all nice and clean. She had washed her body, put on somewhat clean clothes, and had valon (this cream kenyans use) all over her body. She had walked all the way to where I was to be with me. I picked her up and carried her in my arms and we said kuahari & twonani (goodbye & see you later) and gave my thanks to Peneni. Elisabeth, Sammy, and Gladys continued to walk with me. We stopped by my girls' house again and got to take Phillis and Abigale back to the Children's Home with me. Along the way I noticed that Phillis had some weird liquid running down her left ear. I wasn't sure if it was an infection or not. We finally got the Children's Home and I fed them lunch and gave them some clean water to drink. I got one of my older boys (Roy) to translate for me and to ask her if her ear hurts. Phillis nodded yes. I got some first-aid stuff and cleaned out Phillis' ear.

Please pray that Phillis' ear would get better. That it wouldn't be something too serious.

Please pray for the Church here in Kenya. We have started this Bible study on Saturday afternoon in local AIC (African Inland Church) here in Kaptagat. Pray for the people here..that He would draw them near. Pray for the kids. Pray for us. Always pray and never lose hear.


Love you and miss you all!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.


"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."-Hebrews 10:23-25.

Always Pray and Do Not Lose Heart

This week I got to call home and have a nice long conversation with my brother Luis. We talked about everything thats been going on here with me in Kenya and whats been going on with him back in Miami. Towards the ending of our conversation I had asked him to pray that the Lord would provide a job so that I'll be able to work when I get back. And Lou, being Luo, started saying how we ought not to worry about the future but to focus on today. He mentioned how we ought to pray. To pray and ask for our daily bread. To pray without a shadow of a doubt. To pray radically. That as radical as our prayers may seem, God is more than able to answer them and it will always bring Him glory at the end.

I started thinking about what the Lord has been teaching me this week (and it seems that He is constantly bring this up) is the daily.

"If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me."-Luke 9:25.

"Father, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each [this] day our daily bread and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted us. And lead us not into temptation." -Luke 11:2-4.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." -Romans 12:12.

"...they ought always [daily, all the time] to pray and not lose heart." -Luke 18:1.

Its a daily thing to walk with Christ. To self-deny oneself daily. To pray for our daily bread/need. To pray daily/everyday/all the time. Always. To seek Him daily. To read His Word daily. To love Him daily. To trust Him day by day. To surrender daily. To be a Christian (Christ follower) daily, not just on the weekends ("SundayChristians"). To cling/rely on Him daily. Today I will have to fight my flesh/kill sin. Today I will have to put off the old self and put on the new self, created in the likeness of Christ in true righteousness and holiness (Eph. 4:22-24). I even have to face to the fact that today I am single, and thats okay. Today I want to bring glory to His name. Today I want to love on my kids at the Children's Home and school...etc.

I got to read (wish I could say hear) John Piper's sermon called Always Pray and Do Not Lose Heart based on Luke 18:1-8. I encourage you to check it out:

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/always-pray-and-do-not-lose-heart


"I think a natural question the disciples would ask (and which we should ask) is: How can we endure to the end? How can we make sure that we don't become like Lot's wife, too much in love with this world to go all the way with Christ? How can we resist the relentless temptations of Sodom to be desensitized to God's kingdom by the ordinary pressures of daily life? Did you notice back in verse 28 that Jesus doesn't mention sodomy in the list of what characterized Sodom just before its destruction? In fact, he doesn't mention anything in itself sinful: "they ate, drank, bought, sold, planted, built." Judgment didn't come upon Sodom merely because it had practicing homosexuals in it, but also because all the good, ordinary activities of life were godless. The good things in life can make us just as insensitive to the reality of God as the gross things in life can. So the disciples of Jesus are left in a tremendous battle, which most people don't even know is going on: the battle to maintain radical, heartfelt, self-denying faith in Christ not only in the threat of persecution (21:12–19) and sinful temptations, but also in the threat of ordinary home life and business life which can blunt all our sensitivity to God's eternal kingdom.




Pray! Pray! Pray!

So Jesus tells a parable to give the answer. And it is one of the few parables which he interprets for us lest we miss the point. Luke 18:1 tells us the point of the parable: "And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart." Jesus' answer to the question how to endure to the end is, Pray! Pray! Pray! And don't grow weary of praying.

The parable goes like this (18:2–5): "In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor regarded man; and there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, 'Vindicate me against my adversary.' For a while he refused; but afterward he said to himself, 'Though I neither fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will vindicate her, or she will wear me out by her continual coming.'" We must not be offended that Jesus compares God to an unjust judge. It's the same as when Jesus' own coming is compared to the coming of a thief in the night (1 Thessalonians 5:2). The point of comparison is not that Jesus is a thief but that his coming is sudden and unexpected. So here the point of comparison is not that God is an unjust judge but that he responds with help to those who cry to him day and night. In verse 7 Jesus draws out the lesson which he intends: "Always pray and don't lose heart." If you cry to God day and night, if you always pray and don't lose heart, you will not be like Lot's wife: you will not be left in judgment; you will endure in faith and love, and God will vindicate you when the Son of man comes. Therefore, always pray and don't lose heart.

Here I should make plain the concern that drives me this morning. This is the end of a week of concerted prayer. Some of us have prayed over 20 hours this week; we prayed in the morning; we fasted and prayed at noon; we prayed all night Friday. But now what? The word from Jesus to us this morning is: don't stop praying; don't peter out; don't be fickle; but "always pray and don't lose heart." And this word increases in urgency as we see the end of the age drawing near. As Peter says (1 Peter 4:7), "The end of all things is at hand; therefore, keep sane and sober for your prayers." The pressures of worldliness will become greater as the end draws near, therefore, all the more must we watch and be sober unto prayer, and not lose heart." -Piper

Love of the World

"John tells us in his first letter that anyone who loves the world is a stranger to the Father's love. We are not to set our hearts on the world or anything in it. These words have been interpreted in many strange ways by different varieties of Christians, and I have puzzled much over them. The word used in the original is cosmos, which means the whole created order. Is there nothing here that I am allowed to love? What about the thundering, flashing sea that I see from my window? What about the rose on my desk, or even this house where I live with its warmth and pleasantness, the cup of tea in mid-afternoon, the books on my shelves? They are not going to last forever. If I love them, am I then a stranger to my heavenly Father's love?
It has helped me to think of John's words in this manner: To love the world in the wrong way is to love it without knowing the Father's love. It is when a man knows Him and receives everything from his hand that the world is redeemed for him, no longer a snare and in opposition to the love of God. We must love the world only through and because of the Father, not instead of. Our ultimate concern must be God Himself. He is eternal. His gifts are not always so.
Lord, may no gift of yours ever take your place in my heart. Help me to hold them lightly in an open palm, that the supreme object of my desire may always be You and You alone. Purify my heart--I want to love You purely." -Elisabeth Elliot.

This Love Among You

Elisabeth Elliot:
"As I have loved you, so you are to love one another. If there is this love among you, then all will know that you are my disciples" (Jn 13:34,35 NEB).
The love of Jesus for his disciples was unsentimental. As a man, He fully entered into their experience of being men, with all the feelings that entails, yet His love for them was not a feeling. It was decisive, both as attitude and act. He honored their dignity as men by treating them with trust, speaking honestly and straightforwardly, never "tiptoeing" to spare their weaker feelings, never dissimulating. At times He hurt them in order to save them. There was no care for Himself in that kind of love. He had the courage to face their anger and misunderstanding.
"If there is this love among you..." what a difference it will make in the world!

His Word

A wise mentor of mine, (Elisabeth Elliot), once wrote,"Here is the pattern for all who would do God's work with souls: faithful giving of the Word, a heart true and pure in seeking God's glory, gentleness, self-giving, and plain hard work."

"Paul's love for the new Christians at Thessalonica was like that. It was no sentimental feeling. He writes of having brought them the Word:
In the power of the Holy Spirit, and with strong conviction.(1 Thes 1:5)

Frankly and fearlessly, by the help of our God. A hard struggle it was. (1 Thes 2:2)

We do not curry favor with men. Our words have never beenflattering words...or a cloak for greed. (1 Thes 2:4,5)

We have never sought honor from men, from you or anyone else....We were as gentle with you as a nurse caring fondly for her children. (1 Thes 2:6,7)"

I fear that there has been a "watering down" of the Word in the Church now a days. So I ask myself: Where are the Pauls? Where are the leaders that are faithful givers of the Word, that have a true and pure heart to seek God's glory and honor. Where are the people that will go to the ends of the earth for the sake of Christ and His elect? Where are the radical Christians that are self-giving/selfless and loving and meek and hard workers for the kingdom of God? Where are the men that read the Bible and take Him at His Word? Where are the women that read the Scriptures and know where their position in the Church is and are not offended by it ('em faminist). Where are the people that are constantly killing sin, denying themselves, taking up their crosses daily and following Christ and walking in His ways?

Church, Christ means what He says, and says what He means.

"And He said to all, "If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake wil save it." -Luke 9:23-24.

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." – John 15:12.

"And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." -Matthew 28:18-20.


Jesus says what He means, and means what He says.

He is no liar, He is no deceiver, He is no promise breaker. His Word is true. His Word is more than enough.

For His Word is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword. Nothing compares to it. Its all we need, it should be all we have, and I hope its all preach.


Behold, He is with us. He is always with us. Even to the end of the age.

Cheptigit

Today I got to teach two classes.
I taught my usual level 7 math class of 67 students and I got to teach my babies in middle class.

Trusting and Living as a "Fool for Christ's Sake"

"I have one desire now - to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my enegry and strength into it." -Ed McCully.

"After all, a missionary is supposed to trust the Lord!" -Nate Saint

"I'm concerned about safety, but I dont let it keep me getting on with God's business. Every time I take off, I am ready to deliver up the life I owe to God." -Nate Saint.

These are a few quotes that have stood out to me while I, slowly but surely, continue to read Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot.

This week I started reading the book of Nehemiah. Although I've only read the first 4 chapters, its been such a good reminded of how great and awesome my God is.

While reading Through Gates of Splendor and Nehemiah, I've found 3 main points:
1) The Mission.
2) The Cost of the Mission.
3) God's soveregnity, grace, power, guidance and strength.

Nehemiah, who finds out that the walls of Jerusalem have been broken down and the gates have been destroyed by fire, and "as soon as he heard these words he sat down and wept and mourned for days, and he continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. And he said, O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love Him and keep His commandments." (Nehemiah 1:4-5). Nehemiah knows His calling and goes to the king (his master, Nehemiah was the king's cupbearer) and asked him to grant him a couple of requests: "send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers' graves, that I may rebuild it."(2:5) and "let letters be given me to the governors of providence Beyond the River, that they may let me pass through until I come to Judah" (2:7). God's soveregnity and power displays in Nehemiah 2:8b, "And the king granted me what I asked, for the good hand of my God was upon me".
Nehemiah goes and gathers people to help rebuild Jerusalem and he told them of the hand of my God that had been upon him for good, and also of the words that the king had spoken to him (2:18). The mission was not an easy one. There were hinderances, there were people against them. There was war. And they need to be cautious. The Word says that, "those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other. And each of the builders had his sword strapped at his side while he built" (4:17-18). The mission: rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and get the people right with God. The cost of the mission: everything, all, wote, fso, todo. The end: God always has His way. He promises are true. He is faithful.

"Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes." (Nehemiah 4:14b).

"Our God will fight for us." (Nehemiah 4:20b).

McCully writes, "Here was a man who left everything as far as position was concerned to go do a job nobody else could handle. And because he went the whole remnant back in Jerusalem got right with the Lord. Obstacles and hindrances fell away and a great work was done."

Nehemiah knew the LORD's calling for his life, and He had His hand upon him at all times. Jesus makes a way, always! He always gets His way and all the glory.

Ed McCully writes to Jim Elliot, "Maybe He'll send me someplace where the name of Jesus Christ is unknown. Jim, I'm taking the Lord at His word, and I'm trusting Him to prove His Word." Thats what the Lord has been teaching me. To take Him at His Word. To cling to His Truth, to His promises. To not worry about my safety nor this life on earth, but to take Him at His Word.

McCully gives this illustration :
"It's kind of like putting all your eggs in one basket, but we've already put our trust in Him for salvation, so why not do it as far as our life is concerned? If there's nothing to this business of eternal life we might as well lose everything in one crack and throw our present life away with out life hereafter. But there is something to it, then everything else the Lord says must hold true lifewise."

If we have put out trust in Him for salvation, why do we struggle so much to trust Him concerning other areas in our lives?

Why do I struggle with past relationships/friendships in my life? Why do I let my emotions and thoughts hinder me? Do I not trust Him who is gracious and merciful towards me and give me His salvation, do I not trust that He is in control, He holds my heart, He is soveregn over all. Why do I struggle with uncertainies in my future? Do I not trust Him who knows and holds my future in His hands? Surrender. One simple word and action: Surrender. He has taught me to say, "it is well". He has taught me to trust Him. He has taught me to surrender.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, its no wonder that Paul writes, "We are fools for Christ's sake." Paul got it! He understood what it meant to truly, wholeheartedly, fully trust in the Lord with life. Neither pursecution, heartaches, pain, overwhelmness (if thats even a word), heck, maybe even love-life problems (who knows), not even death hindered him from the Mission. Mungu had taught him to trust in Him.

I've been living here in Kenya for about 2 months now, and its been hard, I'm not gonna lie. I'm finally used to the lifestyle here in Africa. I'm used to not having running water at times. Not having electricity at times. Never having a warm shower. Having to wash my hair in a bucket. Not having full body showers for days. Not eating good food. Walking all over the place. Having to hand wash clothes and praying that it won't rain so they could air-dry. Riding on a little matatoo (public transportation) packed with people, even to the point of having to sit on top of eachother. Always being busy and not having much time to be still and spend hours with the Lord. I have learned to be content. I have learned to love it. If the cost of being here in Kenya to love on these kids, to witness to the people here, is being uncomfortable and having to trust in the Lord at all times, then so be it. If I lose my life while serving Him, I have learned to trust Him, dying to self and picking up my cross. Following Jesus' step is no easy matter, but He always has His way. He is faithful. He sanctifies. He will be exalted among the nations. He will be exalted on the earth. He will be lifted high in my life.


The beautiful hymn Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus comes to mind and comforts me:
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know, Thus saith the Lord.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more.

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
Just in simple faith to plunge me,
'Neath the healing, cleansing flood.
Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life, and rest, and joy, and peace.
I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Freedom from Fear

Elisabeth Elliot:
There is a sense in which every form of fear is essentially the fear of death. Jesus came to deliver us from that in all its forms. "He became a human being so that by going through death as a man he might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil; and might also set free those who lived their whole lives a prey to the fear of death" (Heb 2:14,15 JBP).

I know people whose lives are totally controlled by fear. There is no bondage more powerful and crippling. Fear takes over the mind, coercing and circumscribing all its activity. We know where that spirit of fear originates, and we know the name of the enemy who would hold us enslaved. In the name of our God we must tread down our enemies, including all the nagging "what ifs" of our lives. To those frightening possibilities Christ answers, "I will never leave you or forsake you." Let the very worst thing come to pass--even there, especially there, his hand will hold us. If we go into darkness, He is there, has been there before us, has conquered all its powers. That's why He became a man. That's why He died. That's why He rose again.

My Lord and my God--forgive my fears. Deliver me from bondage by the power of your resurrection.

Rejoicing

I woke up this morning with a text from Kelsey asking if I would like to go over her house in Eldoret and bake. I read it to my friend Danielle and she was like thats perfect! "I was planning to take you out to town for your birthday, so going to Josh and Kelsey's would be perfect!"


Its been pretty neat to see how God works. Tomorrow is my 18th birthday and I'm an ocean away from home. I'm with none of my family, none of my bestfriends, none of my close family friends, none of my CF family, but yet He comforts me and give me His joy. I wasn't planning on doing anything special for my birthday tomorrow, but Dhani had been planning to go to Nova cafe (which has Kenya's best/decent wifi) with me for my birthday. I get to skype with people back home and see their faces, of which I've missed so very much. I get to Kelsey and her cute little baby girl tomorrow and have a bake date.

I have a feeling this will be a very special 4th of July in Kenya and a fun 18th birthday.



And lastnight my little Victor said "I love you" to me!
My little Gideon has learned to blow my kisses.
And Dennis now says, "I love you NATI!"
Brenda now says, "I love you too"
And all the kids are officially used to me! I love them all so very much.